It’s been a while hasn’t it? The last time I uploaded a blog post was in March of 2022. About a year later, I decided to step back from it as I’d gone a year without writing anything and felt my passion for writing had gone. 

I remembered a promise I made to myself on the day I uploaded my very first blog entry. What started off as making notes during times where I felt overwhelmed with anxiety and was in a dark place, it turned into sentences, then paragraphs and so on. Writing is something I was passionate about in my school days. Whether it was creatively or on a subject I was interested in, I’d lose myself in it and found a great outlet. 

It returned when I realised how the writing came about by total accident and the idea of blogging came to me quite quickly. However there was one rather major hurdle… My confidence.

Doubts filled my mind, the anxiety was raging but eventually I realised it was a new experience for me and of course the doubts would be there. I had my coping mechanisms so after some breathing exercises and a few instances were I pressed “post” and then undid it, I finally posted it and as they say the rest is history. 

Fast forward to March 2022 and I’d written 44 posts. I’d moved from writing about my own experiences and went on to talk to people who shared their amazing stories. As those 2 years went on, things changed in my personal and professional life which impacted the time I had for the blog. 

In October 2021, me and my then fiancée moved into our first home and it took a few months to get things sorted where it really felt like our place. From a professional standpoint, I was on furlough during lockdown so had more free time on my hands. I made time for it when I went back to work, using journeys to and from work as well as bits of free time to write or record content for the blog. When the house move happened, that time wasn’t there and with that my passion dwindled.

Going back to the promise I made myself, right at the start I pledged that I would never write for the sake of writing. Putting content out there that didn’t have the right effort, passion and input that someone reading it deserved. As my personal life changed, my professional one did too as I got a new job and that justifiably took my focus as well. 

I wrote a post saying I wouldn’t write for the foreseeable. I do believe in a “never say never” mindset as if it’s something that brought out a creative outlet and portrays a positive message then why not? So I left it at that and although I still used the instagram page 

In 2024, I thought I was ready to get back on the proverbial horse and even announced it on the instagram page but to say I jumped the gun was a massive understatement. Pretty much as soon as I put that post up, doubts started filling my mind and other factors gradually came into play. 

As you’ve probably guessed already, it takes a lot for me to do something. I always second guess myself and self confidence is pretty low. I guess due to it being so long since I posted anything, a few questions popped into my head. “Will people still read it? “Do they think you’re genuine?” Do they think you’re talking shit?” It got to the point where I was more or less convincing myself to not go back to writing.

I guess that plays into a negative trait of mine where I’ve always felt the need to people please. If someone doesn’t like me or a negative experience happens, I feel I have to go out of my way to be extra nice so having a negative experience like that did make me think “oh maybe this is all a bad idea then?”. 

It further fuelled the doubt and in the end I just thought for the time being, I could still share tips and positivity around mental health with the instagram page. Deep down I knew I wasn’t ready and I guessed I was kidding myself a bit. Just when things started to get better within myself, opportunities in my working life occurred as well as something out of my control that impacted one of my loved ones took importance over everything. 

May of 2024 was a rollercoaster of a month. I got a chance to go to Belfast on a work trip. I’d never travelled alone before and although it was daunting going to a new place on my own for a few days, I loved it. There was a time where I’d never have backed myself to do something like that and would have turned the opportunity down. I’m glad I did it and it most certainly was a huge confidence boost to the point where I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Another opportunity presented itself where I had an opportunity to apply for a promotion. Once again the doubts were in my head where I felt like an imposter and that I didn’t deserve it. I spoke to my manager who pretty much told me that what I was thinking was understandable in terms of doubt/nervousness but I was more than capable of doing the job and without applying, I’d never know. 

Thankfully, it worked out and for the first time in my working life, I backed myself to the point where I got the promotion. Imposter syndrome kicked in again until I felt settled in the job. People told me that I worked hard for it and deserved it, even though I’ve always found it difficult to back myself in those situations, eventually I accepted it.

There was one factor which took massive importance over the others and to say it was personal would be a huge understatement. We always think of our parents of being somewhat superhuman and that nothing can have an impact on them. Around the time I was due to go to Belfast and where I was applying for the promotion, we got the awful news that my Mam had been diagnosed with cancer.

This is something I’m going to write about in more detail but you don’t imagine these sort of scenarios. I just became overcome with so many emotions. Sadness, worry, concern and even anger. I didn’t handle it well but typical of my Mam she kept reassuring me that it was caught early and it was treatable.

As time went on, she had treatment and she fought so much. Seeing such a vibrant, independent person like my mother struggle and hurt so much was heartbreaking. I felt awful for feeling the way I did because I felt I should have been strong and it wasn’t about me. Friends and family members reassured me saying it was ok for me to feel the way I did but typical of me, I sunk lower.

I supported my Mam as much as I could but there was plenty of times where I’d just cry. I’d sit there in my chair and just bawl. My loved ones including my Mam would tell me there’s plenty for me to be looking forward to personally and professionally but for me, until I knew she was ok, I felt like I couldn’t put myself first. 

Eventually I sought out counselling as I confided in my manager at work. I was referred to a programme in work which offers support which helped massively as I got to unload a lot of how I was feeling. The counsellor helped me realise that the guilt I was feeling was normal as I wanted the best for my Mam but at the same time I was allowed to process my emotions too. 

Over time I accepted that and also my Mam’s treatment went on to the point where she’s now more or less in the all clear! She’s getting stronger every day and back to herself which is massive. She showed so much determination and I couldn’t be more proud to be her son. 

2024 definitely had it’s ups and downs. 2025 was a year to look forward to. As my Mam was getting better, it meant the world to me as she got to witness me get married to the love of my life. I’ve mentioned before about how important Rachel has been and I dread to think where I’d be without her. In April of last year, we finally tied the knot with all of our friends and family in attendance.

Again, this is something I’m going to write about in more detail at some point, but as someone who wasn’t used to having the attention on them, I’d go through that day again in a heartbeat. Once Rach walked down the aisle all of my nerves disappeared. Everything felt right in the world and all the pieces of the puzzle felt like they fitted together.

Even the speech went well in the sense that people laughed at my jokes (probably pity but I’m counting it!), people cried at the emotional bits and I held myself together and didn’t crumble. It really was the perfect day where I got to sign the deal on spending the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman with the people who matter the most to us in attendance.

So, that’s where I am now. I’m married, in a job I enjoy and still an anxious, awkward so and so but I’m gradually accepting myself for who I am. This journey will always be educational. I know every day won’t be fine but it’s important to acknowledge the bad ones, own it and then we go again the next day. 

Coping mechanisms like breathing exercises, note taking, going for a walk, listening to music, watching a film or other means of self care is massive. If you need to call a helpline, speak to a loved one, go online for research or even to the point where you call the doctors, you’re doing the best thing because you are putting yourself first. 

You don’t feel like it at the time but you’re doing the best thing you can do. At the point where you look back later down the line and you think “wow, that was the best thing I could have done”, that’s a huge achievement because you’re growing and proving that the darkness doesn’t win. 

Thank you for reading. I know I ramble on so your patience means the world to me. Please take care, stay safe and most importantly, KEEP BEING YOU! 

@mindcharity – 0300 123 3393, http://www.mind.org.uk

@samaritanscharity – 116 123, http://www.samaritans.org

@anxietyukofficial – 03444 775 774, http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk

@papyrus_uk – 0800 068 4141, http://www.papyrus-uk.org

@giveusashoutinsta – Text SHOUT to 85258, giveusashout.org

#MentalHealthMatters #NeverGiveUp🖤

I’ve said so often in the near 2 years that I’ve been doing this blog that mental health doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t pick and choose what person it has an effect on, no matter way of life you lead.

This is a topic that can be very misunderstood and even ridiculed by some parts of the wider community which only stigmatises mental health further. That goes against what so many organisations and advocates are doing as education is key. The more we know and understand, the smaller the stigma becomes.

From a personal level, I’ve learned so much. I’d be a liar if I said that in the past I’ve read a story about a celebrity struggling with mental health and had the attitude of “oh, they have everything? What have they got to be sad about?”. Looking back now, of course that wasn’t the way to think and unfortunately I’ve had my own battles in order to come to that mindset.

The way I think about it is this, you wouldn’t say the same thing if a person had a very serious physical illness. A lot of people still see mental illnesses as a “mood” instead of an actual condition that requires treatment. It’s said so often that “mental health is just as important as physical health” and it couldn’t be more true.

Again, from my experiences, I used to tell myself to “snap out of it” but as time grew on I realised it just doesn’t work like that. Eventually, I sought out some help but confiding in my loved ones, went to the doctor and eventually started counselling. The counsellor I spoke to was incredible in helping me understand that “health” was the key word. By being prescribed tablets, that was to help me along with being encouraged to go out walking and do positive things.

With some physical illnesses, you’re also prescribed tablets or medicines along with being encouraged to be active and try healthier foods. It’s not the doctor trying to be awkward, they’re saying it because it will help you going forward. That comparison was like a light bulb going off in my head and I started seeing it as a health issue instead of me “just being in a low mood”.

By understanding what the counsellor was telling me, I also realised that my anxiety and depression were not just “illnesses” but it could impact anyone. We all have colds, coughs and headaches and unfortunately so can mental illnesses. It was a bit further on when I started researching and planning for this blog where I found examples of people from all walks of life can be fighting their battles, even those who seem “to have it all”.

One example which stood out was comedian, writer and one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever come across, Stephen Fry. In 1995, Fry walked out of a stage production in the West End and went missing for several days and he even contemplated suicide. Instead he “disappeared” as he left the UK on ferry and didn’t resurface until some time later in Belgium.

What Fry experienced was a nervous breakdown. Later on he would be diagnosed with cyclothymia, which is a form of bipolar disorder. Fry has since spoken openly about his condition and his experiences, which was featured in the documentary ‘Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive’. That show was such an eye opener as Fry not only shared his own story but also spoke to other high profile figures like Robbie Williams and the late Carrie Fisher about the condition.

He’s also been honest about the times he’s contemplated suicide, the most recent time being in 2012. Fry was filming abroad and took a huge amount of pills and vodka. In his words he “had to be brought back to the UK to be looked after.”

Fry has since used his experiences to help others in similar situations by becoming involved with the charity, ‘Stand To Reason’. This organisation is based in the UK which aims to raise the profile of those struggling with mental health as well as fighting prejudice and to achieve equality. His campaigning has encouraged many to come forward to get much needed help and that for me is incredible.

He’s using his profile to not only educate but to assist those in need. He didn’t have to do that documentary but I’m so grateful that he did. It was so educational and proves once more that anyone can have their struggles, even those who appear “untouchable” to us. I commend any well known figure who comes out and speaks about their mental health. So many people will resonate with it and that for me is what a true role model is.

Look at Joe Marler. He’s a Rugby Union international who’s been given much deserved acclaim for opening up about his struggles. By doing that he’s ignoring the stigma that’s attached to men’s mental health, especially in a sport like rugby. The classic stereotype of a rugby player is that he has to be strong and tough off the pitch as well as on it. However, like the rest of us, they’re also human beings and Marler has come out to emphasise that.

Last year, during Mental Health Awareness Week, Joe Marler fronted his own documentary, ‘Big Boys Don’t Cry’ where he traveled around the UK to open up the conversation around mental health challenges, meeting people along the way who are learning to manage their mental wellbeing.

Marler also shared his own experiences and explained how he went to see a psychiatrist, was prescribed medication and decided to be honest so he opened up to his wife and his close friends. This gave them a better understanding to what was going on but at the same time it helped Marler get that weight off his shoulders by confiding in those who matter the most.

He also emphasised that seeking out help is not a quick fix. “It’s more of a growth thing. I could be on anti-depressants for six months, six years, or the rest of my life. It’s about understanding what they do for me, how they help me and accepting that.”

That for me is once again, a massive boost for anyone in a difficult situation. It’s another massive blow against the stigma as well. So many people will take inspiration from what Marler has done. It’s once again someone in a high profile position giving back and helping inspire people. He doesn’t have to but he has because Joe Marler cares and doesn’t want people to suffer in silence.

Since doing the documentary, he’s gone on to front his own Podcast and still carries on the message that it’s ok to open up about your battles and by being in a so called “macho environment” by being a Rugby Player there’s absolutely no shame in being upfront about your troubles. He is proof and other players such as Gareth Thomas, Dafydd James, Lloyd Ashley, Tom James and Jonny Wilkinson have also shared their stories to further eliminate the stigma associated with men’s mental health.

Another incredible advocate is Dr Alex George. The “TV Doctor” found fame on ‘Love Island’ but has since been in the spotlight for a totally different reason. Since February 2021, he has been The UK’s official Youth Mental Health Ambassador where he works directly with the government’s Department of Education. His campaigning began after sadly losing his younger brother Llyr to suicide in July 2020.

In January 2021, Dr George launched a campaign requesting the UK Government prioritise mental health amongst children and adolescents, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. As a result of his campaigning, he met with Prime Minister Boris Johnson who appointed him as the first ever Youth Mental Health Ambassador.

George also became a member of the Mental Health in Education Action Group. They discuss the best way for children to return to education during the pandemic and ensure they receive the support they need during these challenging times.

The work Dr George has done since is incredible. He’s worked directly with the charity, Children In Need resulting in the much praised documentary ‘Our Mental Health Crisis’ where he sheds light on how much attention is required on the ever growing numbers of young people who’re fighting their battles.

Dr George commented on the film by saying, “I am so proud of this film, and the stories that we have been able to tell thanks to the courage of the young people who have so bravely shared their stories. These past 18 months have been incredibly hard, and have impacted the lives of so many children and young people, many of whom have been left feeling sad, anxious and alone, but I hope this film brings hope, and shines a light on the remarkable charities and projects across the UK that are making a difference when it is needed most.”

He worked directly with charities and projects like SAFA, The Wave Project and YoungMinds on the film which is still available on BBC iPlayer. After losing his brother, Dr George was inspired to help those in desperate situations by challenging the stigmas as well as seek help from the government to help combat this. There’s so much to do still but there has been great developments since Dr George has started his campaign and deserves massive respect and admiration.

He’s an incredible advocate and I wish him all the best. He’s one of my “dream guests”

to interview for this blog as he always speaks so passionately about his work and his goal of helping to tackle these issues.

The examples of these incredible people are proof that you can be from totally different backgrounds, have different ways of life and occupation but still fight your toughest battles. Stephen Fry is a genius and legendary comedy performer but has still had his problems with mental health. Joe Marler has played 72 times for England and been on British and Irish Lions tour in Rugby Union and has sought help for his mental wellbeing.

Dr Alex George went through the pain of losing his brother and honoured his memory by trying to ensure nobody else feels so lonely that desperate measures are taken. It’s these people that inspire me to do this blog and make sure I do the right thing when I feel low.

I’m just a normal guy with a 9-5 job but I have anxiety and depression. If someone who’s a billionaire that seems to have it all also suffers with their mental health then I’m not going to look at them with disdain because I know at the end of the day, they are human. Health can deteriorate in any of us. We can be fine one day and catch a cold the next. The same applies to mental health as we could have a good day then the next isn’t.

I don’t see why we still have to see mental health as something that’s a weakness. Seeking help is not a weakness, if anything it makes us stronger and if a celebrity or high profile figure inspires me to do better by myself than I respect and admire the hell out of them for doing it. If they wanted to do their healing in private, the same respect would go to them because they’re still showing the strength to seek help.

This proves once more that mental health does not discriminate. Anyone of any way of life can be effected. It can have a hold on anyone of us. It just goes to show though what a strong support network can do though doesn’t it? Whether it is a private conversation with a loved one or speaking up publicly, a cry for help is loud enough for someone to notice.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope going forward that the stigmas continue to be pushed further away and there will be less hesitance for people to seek help. Remember that you matter and we’d rather you seek help and still be here with us. I realised that and I don’t want to feel any different ever again so if things do feel that bad for me, I know I’ve got a strong support network.

If things get a bit worse, I know I can speak to someone who’s not a stranger but understands me via the work they do. I’ve posted a few details at the bottom of this post for some mental health organisations who do some incredible work. They offer support, guidance and most importantly understand you.

Take care, stay safe and remember storms don’t last forever. Don’t think of this as a goodbye but more of a see you later!

MIND – 0300 123 3393, http://www.mind.org.uk

Samaritans – 116 123, http://www.samaritans.org

Anxiety UK – 03444 775 774, http://www.anxietyuk.org.uk

In many of the posts that I’ve written over the past year or so, I often talk about how reflection is very important. To look back and see how far you’ve come from the low points to where you are now just shows that self belief and strength can go a long way.

As I’ve mentioned before, just over 4 years ago, I was at my lowest and I didn’t value myself, I wasn’t putting my happiness as well as my mental health first. I would binge drink on nights out to block out the negative thoughts, I’d also lie to those closest to me and pretty much hated the person that I was.

It came to a fateful night where it all became too much for me and I simply broke down on a night out. I contemplated doing something stupid but I somehow I found myself opening up to one of my closest and dearest friends. Without doing that, I dread to imagine where I’d be now if it wasn’t for that person because she encouraged me to seek help.

I did seek help, and during that time, by talking to counsellors they encouraged me to put my happiness first. My self worth was so low that I purposely ruined any chance of finding a relationship with anyone. I’d self sabotage any situation which presented that opportunity because I didn’t believe I could be happy and also felt I wasn’t good enough.

By finally talking about this with the counsellor, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and eventually I felt confident enough to try and find someone. Eventually, I met a girl who is now my fiancée. I felt happy and found love. I opened up to her about my struggles and she was understanding and supportive as I knew that being open and honest was the best thing for the both of us.

My mental health has been up and down since then and in late 2018, it went really low again where if it wasn’t for her, I’d have been in a worse place than I was just a year before. It was around Christmas and in the space of a few days I went from feeling on top of the world to rock bottom.

It got so bad that I spent a time contemplating to end it by standing on a bridge but I realised that I’d cause pain for her and my family and friends. She encouraged me to seek help and talk about my issues so I went back to the doctors. This took longer than my first serious battle and I didn’t even go out locally for 6 months. I also deleted my social media accounts and kept a very low profile.

I was out on tablets that I’m still on to this day and I’ve also grown to accept that being on medication isn’t a bad thing. I will happily talk about it as it’s just the same as taking asthma pumps or wearing glasses. They’re prescribed to help me and I will offer support to anyone new to taking medication as well.

As time went on, my confidence returned gradually and I started going out locally. I also spoke openly about my struggles which eventually led to me doing this blog. It was during this time, I realised something that I really wanted to do. The realisation was I wanted to propose. We had a trip to Dublin planned and I knew it would have been perfect as she loves that place.

I put the plan in motion by buying a ring and asking her parents for permission. Of course it was granted and everything was in place. I planned on popping the question on our first night in Dublin and unlike other situations where my anxiety would set in, I didn’t feel nervous but instead I was excited. I couldn’t wait for it.

We went out for a meal and went for a walk by the canal and I didn’t dither ask I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She of course said yes and to this day it’s the best moment of my life.

About an hour after I proposed, I was waiting to be served in a bar and I had a moment of reflection. I realised just how far I’ve come. I went from breaking down to one of my best friends whilst on a night out and feeling like there was no way back. Fast forward to that moment and I was with a girl who loves me and wants to spend the rest of her lift with me. Things don’t get much better than that.

A few weeks after returning from our trip, we started the journey to become home owners. At the time we didn’t realise just how long it would take but we went to the bank and set up our Help To Buy ISA’s which was a massive boost. It’s a government scheme designed to help you save for a mortgage deposit to buy a home. To qualify you must be a first time buyer and that was perfect for me and my fiancée.

The pandemic certainly had an impact on our plans as we went the best part of 10 weeks without seeing each other and it made us more determined to find a house together. We started saving more and started looking at houses on the internet.

By March of this year, we had enough saved for a deposit and consulted with a mortgage advisor and knew then that we were ready to start viewing houses. We looked at a couple where we put offers in and were disappointed as our offers weren’t accepted. To our detriment, it’s a very difficult time to buy a house as there’s so many others in the market.

Some were even putting offers on houses without even looking at them which was so frustrating for us. If anything it spurred us on even more and we came across a house just when we needed a bit of luck to come our way. The house in question is the one that is now ours and when I say we were lucky, we really were. We happened to be the first people to view it and apart from a few quirks, we fell in love with it.

It had been renovated by a developer who purchased it as a “fixer upper” to then sell on. The work hadn’t been completed but the majority of it had and we couldn’t believe our luck. We immediately put an offer in after the viewing and a few mins after getting home, we had a call from the estate agent to say that it had been accepted! We were over the moon but knew the real work and stress was yet to come.

Of course we had to arrange a mortgage. We had a mortgage in principal with the advisor in place to show we had funds available for a deposit but the actual application to get an actual mortgage in place had begun. We also got ourselves a solicitor which my fiancée sorted as there was a local one that her family used in the past.

The process took a bit longer than we thought and there was one or two instances where I thought it was going to fall apart. One instance was that the mortgage lender that was processing the application, wanted to inspect the property to ensure the amount that we agreed on for the purchase of the house was sufficient enough for them to lend us that amount of money.

They found that the property was overpriced and valued it a few thousand pounds cheaper than what was agreed. This immediately sent me into a worry and I did have an anxiety attack as like many situations, I thought of the worst case scenario. I thought was all going to fall apart but my fiancée reassured me and once I calmed down via some breathing exercises, I started thinking logically.

We explained to the situation to the estate agent and advised that we couldn’t make up the few thousand that the seller wanted but we were committed to that house and weren’t looking at any more houses. Also, in comparison to other properties in the area, our house was overpriced and our mortgage advisor had the information to back that up.

Thankfully it fell in our favour as the seller agreed to sell it for the price that was deemed appropriate by the survey. That meant the purchase was back on but there were a few others bumps along the road before the house was ours. Frustration was a common theme along with uncertainty and anxiety as time went on.

As previously mentioned, the seller bought the house as a “fixer upper” to then sell on so we were promised a lot of work was to be completed before everything was finalised. They were very keen for us to sign and get things pushed over the line as soon as possible but we were given assurances that the work would be completed first.

For example, when we first viewed the house there was a huge mess in the garden with building materials/supplies as work was still ongoing. Promises were made to finish the work as soon as possible as well as clean the mess. A particular promise was an eyesore of an old shed would be knocked down to be turned into hard standing for off-road parking at the rear of the house.

What the developer didn’t realise was that my fiancée lived with her parents quite literally down the road. So when we were contacted by the developer’s solicitors asking why haven’t we signed, we kept reminding them about the promises that were made.

Just seemed like there was some hurdles constantly being thrown in front of us and it played hell with my anxiety. I’d gone a few months without an anxiety attack and one night I woke up in the middle of the night with a massive one. It felt like the world was closing in around me and someone was gripping my chest. Honestly, it was the worst one I’ve had since I had really bad episode at the end of 2018.

At that point, I knew I needed to step up in some aspects. I spoke to Anxiety UK and the advisor spent a few hours to reassure me and pointed me to some great coping techniques. I started breathing exercises again, something I hadn’t done in a while but I still do now because it’s such a great calming technique.

Another one was countdowns like 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear etc. It really gives me a sense of concentration away from the anxious moment and brings me back down to a calmer frame of mind. It’s simple techniques but they make a massive difference.

I also had a couple of days away with my fiancée. Due to COVID restrictions, our holiday to Cyprus got postponed but instead we booked a little staycation to Tenby. I hadn’t been there in years and it made a hell of a difference. The sea air, change of scenery and a chilled atmosphere gave me a massive lift. It gave a sense of clarity to get some shit sorted and most importantly helped me have a calmer state of mind.

When we get back I was even more determined to get this house sale sorted. Thankfully, the seller sorted out what we wanted done and we signed for the house in September. Just like that, I was co-owning a house with my fiancée. It took a few minutes to hit home but I then thought about how far I’d come in a couple of years. I’d gone from considering ending it all by standing on a bypass bridge to feeling more happy than I’d ever have been in my life.

I’d gone in the space of just under 4 years from feeling the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Self sabotaging any chance of happiness because I didn’t feel good enough. Hurting people that cared because I didn’t feel worthy to be cared about to finally seeking help and eventually standing up and putting myself first.

Meeting the most amazing, supportive and loving woman who would then say yes when I popped the question. The next chapter was in full swing, we were home owners! We knew the real hard work was about to begin but came about rather quickly. Albeit with delays, we got our furniture set and our bed. Most importantly (jokes), the TV was sorted along with Sky TV/broadband!

When a few things were sorted we decided to move in at the beginning of November. We didn’t have the sofas for a couple of weeks so it was camping chairs for a little while. Now I have my chair to sit in (yes, it’s MY CHAIR!) and the house is gradually coming along and becoming our home. I’ve been told quite often that “there’s always something to do”, and we’ve got plenty to sort out but we’re happy and settling in nicely.

Of course, it was emotional leaving my parents. I’d only ever lived in the same house for the entirety of my 30 years on this earth. I cried a bit after my parents left the house after helping me move my things. For a couple of days it was a case where I cried a few more times but it wasn’t because I felt bad, it was a new chapter in my life and a big change.

I saw it that way and the more things we added in terms of a lick of paint, more furniture etc, the more we felt at home. Like I said before, I’m happy. In fact it’s the happiest I’ve ever been and although I’ve had the odd bad day, I know that I’m in a great position in terms of a support network. I’m also finally doing grown up things at the age of 30 like buying a house but it’s an exciting prospect. The bill paying is annoying but that’s life eh?

I took a further plunge into serious adulthood for 2022 as I recently passed my driving theory. I’ve always held it off as I thought very anxious about driving. Going back to my dyspraxia, I was worried about my hand coordination and my confidence was really not high enough to go down the driving route.

Enough was enough so I put the revision in and even though it was a bit of a stressful time, I passed and now the real work begins with driving lessons. I’m not one for pressuring myself with New Years resolutions but I have promised to put sort myself out a bit. I did have a bit of a low point but put it down to January blues. This time of year is challenging for so many people but I did speak to my fiancée as well as some close friends who helped massively.

The last week or so, I’ve felt like me. When I say that, nearly back to my best. I’m cracking shit jokes, I’m enjoying listening to music, I’m meeting with friends soon for a night out and planning to go to some gigs. I’ve got so much planned for this year in terms of trips away, gigs, stuff for the house and of course blog stuff.

This is the start of a busy yet creative time for me. I’m happy with my life for the first time in years. I’ve got a future, something I can be proud of and a loving fiancée. In fact, she’s actually in the picture I’ve posted with this blog entry. Ain’t she pretty folks?

Things are looking up but I know I can bounce back from the bad days. Doing this blog and reflecting is a huge thing for a me and I still want to help people in difficult situations.

I’ve had people message me thanking me for doing this. Compliments have always been something I’ve struggled with but I just want people to come away with a positive mindset, knowing that help is out there and asking for it isn’t a bad thing. Please, do the right thing as we’d rather you be here and get healthy than not be here at all.

It’s a cliche but storms don’t last forever. We’ll get through this together and the stigmas are getting smaller by the day. Please take care, stay safe and until next time don’t see this as a goodbye but more of a see you later!